Murray Hill’s cheerful personality as the self-proclaimed “hardest-working middle-aged man in show business” hides a dark past that includes alcoholism and a stint in a psychiatric ward.
In his newly released memoir, “Showbiz! My Life as a Middle-Aged Man,” Hill describes the difficult times in his 30s, which began when he slowly began to drink excessively under the influence of the Hollywood lifestyle.
“Whether it’s show business, the music industry, or comedy, whatever, it’s like a lot of people drink; it’s part of the lifestyle,” the 54-year-old “Somebody Somewhere” alum told Page Six in a recent exclusive interview.
“You’re out every night, you’re in clubs, you’re in bars. To me, in some ways, alcohol is like a silent killer because it’s progressive…It’s a progressive addiction, so it gets worse.”
Hill explained that the liquid spike was “not fun,” that “it’s not a party,” and that it “causes all kinds of harm.”
“When you’re chemically dependent, it’s very hard to get rid of it. It’s like you need to get help,” he mused.
But alcoholism came with its worsening side effects, as the normally upbeat cabaret performer became frighteningly depressed.
“I was at a very low point,” he shared. “I was deeply depressed, and because alcoholism is a progressive thing, everything was stuck. When I got to the end of it, I had no pilot light. It almost burned out.”
“So I had no hope; I had no personality left. It was very depressing. So, you know, I didn’t want to go through that anymore. I didn’t want to be like that because I felt like that wasn’t me, and that scared me.”
Ultimately, to get out of this hole, Hill checked himself into a psychiatric ward in 2014, which led to sobriety.
“I never want to go back. I haven’t touched a drink since,” the “Life & Beth” alum exclaimed.
“And maybe it was good that way to have that terrible experience there because, you know, I still have that thought, like I don’t want to go back there. ‘Why?’ Because it was so scary.”
“Show Business! My Life as a Middle-Aged Man” is out.